May a Divorced Person Marry?

What Does Your Preacher Teach?
What Does the Bible Say?

Does your preacher teach the truth regarding whether a divorced person may marry? Perhaps you think so, but are you sure? Maybe he is convinced that Matthew 19:9 settles the issue and that it is not even debatable. To strengthen his argument, he might use a version like the English Standard Version, which reads, "And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery," instead of the ASV, AV, or KJV, which don't even include the word divorce in the passage. How does this help him? The Greek word translated as "divorce" is apoluo, which is translated as "put away" in the KJV, ASV, and many other versions. When the word divorce is read in the text, it appears more believable that Jesus is saying a divorced person may not marry, whereas put away might still leave some doubt about what Jesus meant, especially for those who bother to look up what "put away" means. While some men claiming to be scholars have asserted that apoluo means divorce, this is not proof that it does in this passage. Thayer, perhaps the most respected biblical scholar, did say "used of divorce," but that would only be true of those who did not know or respect the Scriptures.

Many reasons should cause us to conclude that apoluo does not refer to divorce as God defined it in Deuteronomy 24:1-2:

First, it would have Jesus contradicting the Law, which allowed the divorced woman to go and be another man's wife. That is a serious consideration and charge.

Second, apoluo is not even the word for divorce—apostasion is the correct term. If there is no "bill of divorce," only separation has occurred.

Third, apoluo cannot mean divorce, as God defined it, because it is only ONE of the three things specified in God's definition of divorce that were required. Apoluo is equivalent to shalach in Hebrew, translated as send out in Deuteronomy 24:2, which is the final step in the divorce process. When a man simply sends away a wife, it's clear that this is not a divorce that frees her. She needs an official divorce certificate to prove she is legally free to marry.

Fourth, to teach that a divorced person may not marry is contrary to the teachings of the apostle Paul, who answered questions from Christians about divorce and marriage (1 Cor. 7:1) and put "forbidding to marry" in the category of "doctrines of devils" (1 Tim. 4:1-3). In writing to the Corinthian church, he commanded his readers to let every man and every woman have a spouse (v. 2) and gave the reason for this injunction-"to avoid fornication." Then, we see in verse 8, when speaking of the "unmarried," which includes the divorced, he gave a direct command to "let them marry." He followed this by contrasting those "bound" (married) with those "loosed" (divorced) and said the loosed do not sin if they marry (verses 27- 28).

Fifth, it goes against God's justice to punish someone with celibacy if they are divorced, especially when the innocent party is the one being divorced and the guilty party arrives at the courthouse first. Proverbs 17:15 states: "He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abominations to the LORD."

Let's now revisit Jesus' interactions with the Jews who tried to tempt Him to say something they could use against Him. It is important to note that they did not accuse Him of opposing Moses' teachings. They appeared to be intimidated by Jesus' sharp criticism of how they dealt with their wives and were on the defensive, as seen in Mark's account (10:2-12). Let's take a minute to reflect on this conversation:

2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.

They asked a question they hoped would cause Jesus to contradict Moses or at least cause him to take sides on a controversial issue. In their question, they didn't clarify whether they were referring to divorce or just permanent separation.

3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?

The answer was given in the form of a question. Jesus pointed them to the relevant authority-Moses, whom God had entrusted with giving the Law. It is also important to note that Jesus said Moses issued a command. That command outlined what was necessary to carry out a divorce, as found in Deuteronomy 24:1-2.

4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.

Their original question was about "putting away," i.e., "is it lawful"? This is when Jesus referred to the relevant authority. Their answer shows that they understood the law, which required a bill of divorcement before putting her away. Their reply was an admission that condemned anyone who failed to follow the command to end a marriage - a sin Jesus called "adultery against her."

5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.

Here, Jesus tells them that it was not part of God's original plan for men to divorce their wives. He provided the divorce law to help the woman, allowing her to "go and be another man's wife" instead of potentially turning to prostitution to survive.

9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

This has often been interpreted to mean that divorce is not possible, but it means "man" cannot do it his way, by merely sending someone away or putting someone away; it must be done as God commands. Some gospel preachers have taken the position that the mere sending away is divorce.

10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

Here, Jesus explains who is committing adultery, what adultery is, and why. The man was committing adultery against his own wife (not with someone else) by sending her away but refusing to give her the divorce she wanted and needed.

Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

The woman was not permitted to divorce her husband; therefore, this further supports that "put away" is not equivalent to divorce, but an action that leads only to permanent separation.

Now back to verse 11:

Jesus told the Pharisees that they were guilty of committing adultery against their wives. The wife, who was dismissed but not given a divorce as commanded by Moses (Mark 10:3), would commit adultery if she married another because she was not legally divorced. She was still married to her husband. Why would her husband do this? There are two possible reasons or motives:

1. 1) He hated her and wanted to make life difficult for her; or
2. 2) By not divorcing her, he could keep the dowry he received from her father when they married, which he had agreed to return if he divorced her.

What about "except it be for fornication"?

Does the Bible even teach that you may divorce your spouse if he/she commits adultery?

It does, but this is not found in the New Testament. God provides the answer by using a personal example of His divorce of Israel. (And God's teaching in the Old Testament regarding marriage and divorce is timeless.) He did not divorce Israel immediately after she committed adultery with other gods. Instead, He gave her plenty of time to repent and divorced her only after it became clear that repentance was not coming (Jer. 3:8, 12-14). This is an example of when a divorce SHOULD take place. It is not teaching that if adultery has not taken place, a divorce does not end the marriage.

Conclusion:

Although the traditional view on divorce and marriage has many flaws, making it hard to accept, there are strong reasons to believe that divorce (as defined by God) ends a marriage and frees the parties to marry.

Some object to the truth, claiming that this teaching encourages divorce or that if Jesus did not teach against divorce, then what is to stop people from divorcing for any reason? Good question, and one Paul answered when he wrote, "Husbands, love your wives" and "Wives, honor your husbands" (Eph. 5:25, 33).

The answer to our question that represents the traditional view should be rejected because there is no biblical support for it. It is a harmful doctrine because it denies people the right to marriage in order to prevent fornication, and it deprives them of the opportunity to build a family, a consequence not often considered. Those who have been divorced and accept the penance imposed on them will not have children, which will result in the church dwindling. If half of the people can't marry and have children, even if they remain in the church, the church will eventually disappear because not enough people are having children.

The traditional view, of which we speak, usurps God's authority by punishing people for sins in the past, which God forgives and forgets. It punishes not only the guilty who repent but also the innocent who have done no wrong. It discourages evangelists who believe in it, as they must impose celibacy on more than fifty percent of those they teach about Christ and who want to dedicate their lives to Him, which almost always causes them to turn away. Additionally, it causes division among members and churches.

Thus, we see that it was appropriate for God to inspire Paul to call this doctrine a "doctrine of devils" (1 Tim. 4:1-3). Those who have taught this evil have distorted God's word by essentially making divorce an unforgivable sin, which causes many who might otherwise serve or continue serving the Lord to stumble. Jesus said (Luke 17:2, ASV): "It were well for him if a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, rather than that he should cause one of these little ones to stumble."

Jesus addressed those who see their tradition as the standard and cannot fathom the idea that it is anything other than truth when He said, "Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition."

Some seem to enjoy condemning the divorced to a life of celibacy, or to hell if they don’t remain celibate, but it is they who need to be warned because of their actions.

Colossians 2:8 Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men,

The biblical command concerning individuals who are divorced is clear: "Let them marry." This shows that marriage is allowed after divorce. However, many do not follow this directive due to traditional beliefs. Paul was very clear in his teaching that the “loosed” (divorced) do not sin if they marry (1 Cor. 7:28), yet many church leaders demand that divorced people stay single, which can cause emotional and mental health issues and even lead to moral decay because God’s tool to "avoid fornication" is taken away. Being forced to remain single can lead to feelings of loneliness, frustration, and sadness, affecting not only the divorced but also their families and friends. The Bible emphasizes love, grace, kindness, and understanding. It is God, the source of these qualities, who allows divorced people to marry if they choose. Christians need to understand this and ensure their actions demonstrate compassion and support for personal well-being. It's not the Bible that says a divorced person who remarries is living in adultery; it is human tradition that teaches this. Paul’s admonition "not to think of men above that which is written" (1 Cor. 4:6b) condemns making tradition, rather than the written word, the standard.

For further study:
https://www.totalhealth.bz/marriage-divorce-remarriage.htm