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Divorce may be the end of your marriage, but it's not the end of your life. God still wants you to have peace and happiness. And being divorced does not mean you cannot marry again and have a family and children. Divorce ends marriage and frees the parties. Jesus could not possibly have taught differently, for to have done so would have been to contradict the Law, which would have been sin. A careful and honest reading of what Jesus actually said clears up a lot of misunderstanding.
The Greek word "apoluo" has been errantly used of divorce, and it was and is used wrongly by people who either do not believe in God or are ignorant of God's definition of divorce (Deut. 24:1,2; Jer. 3:8). To “send away” or "put away" (the meaning of apoluo) is not divorce as God defined it - it is only the last part of the divorce process. If there is no certificate of divorce, to make it legal/scriptural, there is no divorce - only separation, and God's command has not been followed. The word "apostasion" (meaning "specifically" divorce, according to Strong) was used by the Jews who questioned Jesus' teaching regarding the evil practice of putting away contrary to the Law. Let's take an honest look at the text:
"And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away" (Mark 10:2-4).
Jesus' enemies, trying to entrap Him in His words, asked if it was lawful to put away (apoluo). Jesus replied, "What did Moses command you?" His question tells us three things: 1) They were not following Moses; 2) Jesus was not making new law but was using the current law to answer their question; and 3) "Put away" (apoluo) was/is not divorce. This is true because they said "Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement," which Jesus had already noted was actually commanded.
Now that you know the truth regarding the Jewish men’s sin, you will be able to easily understand the "exception clause," which is often used to break up marriages and impose celibacy, in a way that makes sense:
"Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
First, we need to go to another passage to see what the sin is that the man (who puts away, but does not divorce) commits. Mark's account shows that his sin is "against her" rather than "with" someone else that he marries (Mark 10:11); thus, it is not even sexual. But the woman's sin is marrying another while still being married to the man that sent her away. The exception for her committing adultery and the man's committing adultery “against her” is the case of fornication that is being committed by the two in the "marriage." This would result if the marriage was not legal; for instance, if the woman was already married or the marriage was otherwise forbidden, such as with certain people of the land (Deut. 7:2-4; Ezra. 10:2-11) and marrying certain family members (see 1 Cor. 5:1; Matt. 14:4; Lev. 20:21).
This fully explains when and why adultery is committed by marrying, as Jesus explained. And the truth (as always) allows harmony among the Bible writers: Moses with God, Jesus with Moses, and Paul with Jesus. This truth should be welcomed by all who want to do the right thing. Unfortunately, many have rejected the truth so long that they cannot hear or see (2 Thes. 2:10-11). Others see the truth but continue to support tradition to assure they maintain their status among their peers and keep their job in the preaching field. Men who love the truth will seek to learn it and to teach it to others. A.W. Tozer wrote, "The true follower of Christ will not ask, If I embrace this truth, what will it cost me? Rather he will say, This is truth, God help me to walk in it, let come what may!"
So if you seek marriage but have been told you cannot, or you are a preacher and have been led to believe the divorced may not marry, Paul's commands may now settle home in your heart: In 1 Cor. 7:1, 2, Paul commands to let every man and woman marry and then gives the reason for the command. In verses 8 and 9 he speaks of the "unmarried" (divorced people are definitely unmarried) and commands "LET THEM MARRY." Then in verses 27 and 28 he contrasts those "bound" (married) with those "loosed" (divorced) and says they do not sin if they marry.
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