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Christians have different opinions regarding whether a divorcee may marry. Unfortunately, discussions are often fruitless because one or both people misunderstand the other's beliefs on the subject. Thus, statements are made, often in the form of accusations, that do not pertain to the issue.
First, we should all agree that the truth regarding whether a divorced person may marry is important for many reasons. The consequences of being wrong involve not only people's happiness on earth, but they can also result in eternal destruction of souls, to include ourselves if we teach error that causes others to be lost (Mark 9:42). Further, the traditional teaching that a divorced person may not marry, and that such marriages must be ended, is a major source of division in churches. The position held by many often results in otherwise faithful Christians turning from God. And said teachings are an enormous discouragement for evangelists.
After getting out of full-time preaching I was able to do a thorough and honest study of this issue. I came to the solid position that divorce ends marriage and frees the parties, an allowance that God, through His wisdom and grace, made available through law for man’s benefit. This is based upon the timeless teaching of Moses regarding both marriage and divorce, all of which Jesus, an Old Testament prophet, was obligated to teach (Matt. 5:17-19; Mark 10:3; Heb. 4:15).
The passages often used to claim that the divorced may not marry (some say only the innocent who initiates the divorced may) are mistranslated in several newer versions. This has been instrumental in causing many to believe the unsustainable idea that Jesus did indeed contradict Moses' teaching on divorce and marriage. Such teaching presents serious problems – which many Christians ignore, for whatever reason. Perhaps a discussion of the issues we agree upon would be helpful – a clarification of concepts that are not the issue.
The issue is not:
1) Whether God intends and desires for man and wife to stay married for life.
God instituted marriage, which is a law we find in His word – particularly the Old Testament. Jesus said, "What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder" (Mark 10:9). This is not to say that God cannot “put asunder" (end a marriage) if man follows His procedure (Deut. 24:1, 2). When questioned by the Pharisees who, in the beginning of the conversation, asked about "putting away," Jesus referred them to Moses' teaching: "What did Moses command you?" (Mark 10:3).
2) Whether it is sin to break a covenant (marriage) and that so doing puts one's soul in jeopardy.
Indeed, it is a sin to break a covenant, but this is not the unforgivable sin. Habitual sin, of which one refuses to repent, is what puts one's soul in jeopardy. One can repent of having broken a covenant. But one cannot repent of being divorced by a spouse who went looking for greener pastures. Thus, tradition has made divorce the unforgivable sin.
3) Whether it is okay to divorce for any cause.
It has never been okay to divorce for any cause. Some Jewish men entertained this idea, but Jesus set them straight when He said, regarding divorce, "In the beginning it was not so." Yet this is interpreted by some to mean that Jesus changed the law regarding divorcees marrying. Of course, such law changing would have instantly made adulterers out of otherwise faithful children of God, which would have required the breaking up of countless marriages and families. History records no such fallout from Jesus's observation.
4) Whether it is sin for a woman not to honor the "law of the husband" while he lives.
"For the woman that hath a husband is bound by law to the husband while he liveth; but if the husband die, she is discharged from the law of the husband" (Rom. 7:2 ASV).
A man is the head over the wife (Eph 5:23; Rom. 7:2). The husband is the law while he is a woman's husband. Naturally, if he dies, she is free to marry (1 Cor. 7:39). This passage does not discuss divorce.
5) Whether it is sin for a "married" woman to marry another man.
Obviously, it would be sinful for a married woman to marry another man, for two reasons: 1) It would be adultery; and 2) it would be polygamous (criminal). In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, Paul addresses married couples. He states that a woman is not to "leave" or "depart" from her husband, but if she does then she should remain as she is, in the "single" state, "as unmarried." This wisdom would prevent adultery and polygamy and keep open the possibility of reconciliation, which Paul encourages. The passage does not address a situation in which a divorce has taken place, and it is therefore not a passage that teaches that the divorced may not marry.
6) Whether the Greek word "apoluo" (often translated "divorce") may have meant "divorce" in Jesus's day, and may mean "divorce" to some people today.
Yes, some did, and do, use apoluo synonymously with "divorce." However, and obviously, divorce is not the primary meaning of apoluo. Apoluo is used about 67 times and the apparent meaning in every place, except where marriage is under discussion, has nothing to do with legal divorce. Way down on his list of definitions, Thayer says "used of divorce." People who do not know nor respect God's divorce law (used around the world since its inception) found in Deuteronomy 24, and confirmed in Jeremiah 3:8, contend that separation is divorce. Nevertheless, when the word apostasion (bill of divorcement) is absent, apoluo has no connection to divorce at all. This was the case at the beginning of the discussion with Jesus when the Pharisees sought to entrap Him (Mark 10:1-12). The Pharisees' question, which Jesus addressed, was about “sending away” or "putting away" - not divorce as God defined it.
7) Whether God hates divorce.
Divorce was contrary to God's ideal from the beginning. Thus, it seems apparent that He would not like it. Certainly, He did not like it when He divorced Israel (Jer. 3:8). But divorce is part of God's law, which He used so that the plan of salvation for all mankind might be made possible. Jesus married Israel whom God the Father divorced, which is now the church, the bride of Christ (Rom. 6:1, 4). If it is sinful to marry one who has been divorced, then Jesus sinned. Yet many find this easier to accept than the thought that their church or their preacher has gotten it wrong.
Yes, some versions (errantly) say "God hates divorce," but what He hates is "putting away" without divorcing, which is treachery because it puts the woman in a difficult situation. This was the case of the women in Israel when they could not divorce their husbands. Jesus, in giving the "exception" to when it is wrong to merely "put away," such as incestuous marriage (Matt. 14:4; 1 Cor. 5:1), made it clear that in such a case the man would not be guilty of "adultery against her" (Mark 10:11). (See Jeramiah 3:8, where God made it clear that He was not just putting away Israel but gave her the certificate of divorcement. The text is not about God’s divorce law - it is about results of men's skirting it.
8) Whether a wife that is "put away" is still married to her husband.
A woman merely "put away" is still married, which is why Jesus said she would commit adultery if she married another man and that the man she married would do the same (Matt. 5:31-32). This makes sense, whereas the idea that the divorced are still married has numerous unacceptable consequences. The real issue is whether a divorced woman is still married to her husband and whether actual divorce, as God defined it, ends marriage and frees the parties. A divorce that involves both putting away and giving a bill of divorcement severs a marriage. God said so himself, and followed his own law in divorcing sinful Israel, whom Jesus later married – as she had been legally set free to marry another.
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