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Advocates of the notion that church leadership is required to forbid marriage for the divorced cite a few passages to support their position. Their twisting of scripture begins with Jesus's teaching and ends with the apostle Paul's. But their effort to harmonize his teachings with Jesus' is met with one big problem after another. Even though Paul answered the questions Christians asked about this issue, rather than accept his clear teaching, they ignore or reject it because it conflicts with what they think Jesus taught. Their misunderstanding stems from a problematic, widely misconstrued statement resulting from a mistranslation of a single word. Jesus was dealing with a unique problem among Jewish men. They were "putting away" ("sending out of the house") wives but were not obeying God's law pertaining to divorce that would end the marriage.
Purpose of This Article
This article does not aim to identify or explain all of their alleged supporting texts, even though they can be addressed and aligned with Paul's straightforward teachings. Rather, it presents several clear, direct passages that raise questions about their doctrine—passages that are often overlooked or addressed with arguments that lack logical consistency.
Misinterpretations of Jesus' Teaching
Some claim that Jesus changed the Law of Moses by contradicting it, making Christian life harder for both men and women. Their claim is rooted in the idea that Jesus stated a divorced woman commits adultery when she remarries. However, their support relies on certain translations (and interpretations by some scholars) that mistakenly translate the Greek word "apoluo" as "divorce." While Jesus' statement was logical - that a woman who was sent away would commit adultery because she wasn't properly divorced according to Deuteronomy 24:1-2 - people today assume Jesus was teaching against established law, namely God's law found in Deuteronomy 24:1-2, which allowed a divorced woman "to go and be another man's wife." This principle was not just Moses' teaching; Jeremiah 3:8 shows God used this law to divorce Israel, emphasizing He issued an actual bill of divorcement, permitting Israel to "marry another" (Romans 7:1,4). (This text soundly refutes the argument that Moses' teaching was not God's teaching, and the notion that it is not a timeless example.) The notion that Jesus changed the Law of Moses is rejected by virtually all scholars. While scholars note that apoluo was "used of divorce," (Thayer) this is NOT its common meaning. It was used to refer to divorce only by people who did not know God's definition of divorce (the process) or who had no respect for the written word and/or for being correct in speech.
Passages Often Ignored or Misapplied to Uphold Traditional Teachings
Moses' Teaching (Deuteronomy 24:1-2)
This passage is the focal point of Jesus' discussion with his detractors. It was not only the law in effect, but it is a timeless teaching, as it provides us with God's definition of divorce. If it can be rejected because it is Old Testament law, then Jesus' teaching that was based on it must also be rejected as Old Testament law. It provides God's means of "putting asunder" a marriage. This "man" is forbidden to do his way (Matt. 19:6). (See: https://www.totalhealth.bz/divorce-and-remarriage-willis-exegesis.htm) The directive required men to take further steps beyond merely "putting away" a woman with whom they no longer wished to remain. It was mandated that they provide formal documentation confirming the dissolution of the marriage, thereby granting her the freedom to marry another (Mark 10:3). In this text, Moses sets forth three conditions for divorce that he said would free the woman to marry: 1) Write a bill of divorce, 2) put it in her hand, and 3) send her away. Neither this text nor any other indicates that the woman may divorce the MAN. This makes it clear that those who use Jesus' teaching to argue that men who are divorced commit adultery if they marry lack biblical support, indicating that they have failed to grasp the true picture of what Jesus was teaching. It is inconsistent to contend that Jesus said both a divorced woman and a divorced man commit adultery without considering the context, which is that a woman could not divorce a man. Despite this, traditionalists ignore the point and misapply Jesus' teaching, negatively impacting both their audience and themselves.
Mark 10:11 - The Man's Sin in "Putting Away"
This passage explains what the man's sin is in the context of "putting away." Jesus said, He "committeth adultery against her." It is the woman he sends away (apoluo) without divorcing her, who is kept from marrying and placed in a difficult situation, whom he sins against, not with one in a subsequent marriage. Because men at the time could have multiple wives, this is the only explanation for the phrase's meaning. This passage also explains the true meaning of "except it be for fornication," which is perhaps the most misused phrase in the entire Bible. To understand it correctly, you must first accept the fact that "sending out of the house" [Hebrew shalach; (Deut. 24:2), Greek apoluo] is only part of the divorce process and therefore cannot be the whole. The exception clause serves to clarify why a man does not commit adultery against a woman in cases where the marriage is deemed incestuous, constituting fornication. In such circumstances, a permanent separation is considered appropriate, negating the necessity for divorce. Accordingly, the phrase "except it be for fornication" was not intended as the sole cause, reason, or basis for divorce (see 1 Cor. 5; Matt. 14:3, 4). This interpretation presents complexities that challenge preachers and elders who teach and attempt to present it as Jesus teaching that a divorce is not a divorce unless it is for fornication and that only the one initiating the divorce (man or woman) may marry without committing adultery. Unfortunately, this teaching on divorce encourages a race to the courthouse rather than seeking reconciliation.
Mark 10:3 - The Pharisees' Trap Backfired
The Pharisees sought to entrap Jesus, hoping He would answer their questions in a way that would make Him contradict Moses, giving them grounds to kill Him. But to one question, He replied, "What did Moses command you?" which led them to acknowledge the truth regarding divorce, which they had been failing to obey.
Key Points we should learn from Mark 10:3 that are Ignored by Traditional MDR Teachers
- That Moses's teaching was God's teaching (Numbers 15:23; Josh 1:13).
- That the focal point of the discussion was Deut. 24;1, 2.
- That Jesus confirmed that Moses was to be obeyed and that He did not contradict him.
- That Moses' teaching to men who would divorce their wives was a command.
1 Timothy 4:1-3 - Forbidding Marriage
While this text does not specify who is guilty of the sin of teaching "doctrines of devils," it unquestionably teaches that it is evil to forbid marriage. People who have been divorced do not have marriage, and therefore, when forbidden to marry, they are subjected to the temptation of fornication.
1 Corinthians 7:1-2 - Permission to Marry
This text explicitly teaches that every man and every woman may have a spouse, and the reason given is that they may be able to "avoid fornication." Furthermore, the word "let" indicates that teaching otherwise is disobedience.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9 - The Divorced Should Marry if Self-Control is Lacking
Paul wrote about the unmarried and widows, saying, "If they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." God gave the divorce law to end a marriage, freeing the woman to "go and be another man's wife." A divorced person (if done according to the law) is then "unmarried". Regarding the "unmarried", Paul explicitly commands anyone who might feel compelled to follow tradition to “let them marry."
1 Corinthians 7:27-28 - No Sin in Remarriage After Divorce
This teaching was in view of "the present distress" (vs 26). "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed." That is, if you are married, do not seek a divorce. "Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife." That is, if you are divorced, it is best not to seek a wife, though it is not forbidden, as the next verse explicitly states. 1 Cor. 7:28 "But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned." That is, it is not a sin for someone who has been divorced to marry. This is language so simple that one needs help to misunderstand it.
Conclusion
Traditionalists often ignore or reject Paul's teaching because it contradicts their teaching about what Jesus taught about marriage. Unfortunately, in debate, arguments that lack coherence are often presented, with the expectation that others will accept them without scrutiny. It is important to examine the referenced passages thoughtfully and within context, and to assess their collective significance. These passages indicate that the New Testament does not mandate church leaders act as investigators, judges, and enforcers regarding members' or potential members' marital situations.
When a preacher disregards the truth, it becomes a significant issue that impacts not only him but also those he influences. Imagine having symptoms of a serious illness, yet your doctor overlooks important evidence, misdiagnoses you, and then treats the wrong condition. Due to this mistake, your illness worsens until treatment is no longer possible, leaving you with little time. The doctor is therefore responsible and may face consequences beyond mere feelings of guilt. Similarly, preachers who require dissolution of a legal marriage and enforce unnecessary celibacy - often leading to fornication or causing people to turn away from their faith will be accountable for their actions. Whether you're interacting with a doctor or a preacher, maintaining personal responsibility is essential. If something feels wrong, it's crucial for you to investigate further, do your own research, and consult with others to find the right resolution. Keep in mind Paul's exhortation to test careless Bible teachers who don't seem to understand the danger they face by teaching error (James 3:1). He said, "My loved ones, do not put your faith in every spirit, but put them to the test, to see if they are from God: because a great number of false prophets have gone out into the world" (1 John 4:1, BBE). He also commanded, "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good" (1 Thes. 5:21). The "devil's doctrine" (1 Tim. 4:1-3) is not good, but marriage is good (Gen. 2:18; Prov. 18:22), and no one should seek to take it away from another or prevent it. To do so is to disobey God's direct commands.
Both Jesus and Paul warned about following tradition contrary to truth. Jesus said, "And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition" (Mark 7:9). He further reminded them that "teaching for doctrine the commandments of men" causes worship to be vain (vs. 7).
Paul said he "profited in the Jews' religion...being...exceedingly zealous," but he said, "God called me by his grace," i.e., to turn from human tradition and to teach the truth that would result in forgiveness, reconciliation, and hope (Gal. 1:14, 15).
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